As an old government teacher, I’ve come to realize that even those of us who have been in the field for a while sometimes need a refresher on the basics. Some of us, especially those already working in Washington, D.C., may even require an introductory or remedial class on how the federal government functions (or is supposed to function). 

For instance, consider the life cycle of a federal bill. It’s a journey akin to that of a contestant on a reality television show—filled with drama, questionable decisions, and a lot of waiting around. 

Picture this: a shiny new idea, fresh out of the mind of a member of Congress, strutting its stuff on the legislative runway. But before you know it, it’s off to the grueling boot camp known as the legislative process. 

Here’s how it goes down, as the catchy tune from Schoolhouse Rock would remind us:

1. The Big Debut: Our aspiring bill makes its grand entrance in either the House or the Senate. It’s like auditioning for a talent show, except the judges are a bunch of politicians who may or may not be paying attention. Tip of the Day for Congress: “Don’t pass the bill, to find out what is in the bill!”

2. Committee Time: After making a splash, the bill is whisked off to a committee, where it undergoes a rigorous vetting process. This is where the real drama happens. Will it get a glowing review or be sent packing? 

3. The Full Chamber Showdown: If it survives the committee gauntlet, it’s then voted on by the entire chamber. Think of it like an episode finale—everyone’s got an opinion, but only a simple majority can send it to the next round.

4. The Transfer: If it makes it through the House, it hops over to the Senate, where it faces a similar fate: another round of committee scrutiny followed by a full-chamber vote. It’s like passing the baton in a relay race, but no one’s entirely sure if the next runner is actually going to run with it.

5. The Presidential Finale: If both chambers give it the thumbs-up, it’s off to the President for the final say. Here, the bill is either signed into law or sent back to Congress with a veto. But fear not! If Congress is feeling especially motivated, they can override that veto with a two-thirds vote, which is basically legislative cardio.

You might be curious about how many of these bills are strutting their stuff in Congress at any given moment. Well, hold onto your hat: around 10,000 bills are introduced in each two-year session. That’s a staggering buffet of legislation! But here’s the kicker—most of them never make it out of committee. On average, only about 100 to 200 of those bills actually become laws. It’s like a survival of the fittest, only with a mountain of paperwork. 

Several factors contribute to the unfortunate fate of these bills, including the overwhelming volume of legislation, growing partisan polarization, and a labyrinth of procedural hurdles that can trip up even the most promising ideas.

The bills that do have a shot at becoming law are usually those backed by the big players—the Speaker of the House or the Senate Majority Leader. These legislative heavyweights can skip the committee line and throw their bills directly onto the floor, bypassing the usual hurdles.

But wait! The process isn’t always the same. There are exceptions, because, of course, why make things simple? Tax laws must start in the House, treaties need a two-thirds Senate approval, and constitutional amendments are the most exclusive of all, requiring a robust majority in both chambers and a nod from three-quarters of state legislatures. The President? He’s just a spectator in that game.

Once our bill has successfully navigated the shark-infested waters of Congress and received the Presidential stamp of approval, it makes its final stop at the Office of the Federal Register in the National Archives. Here, it’s assigned a public law number and gets a spot in the next edition of the United States Statutes at Large, ensuring it’s forever remembered as one of the few who made it.

So, there you have it! The roller coaster ride of a federal bill—from its ambitious start to its grand finale, replete with all the twists and turns of a well-scripted drama. Now, if only they could make this into a reality television show like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, we might just tune in. And in Nashville, we know where you can find some pedal taverns to celebrate this legislative spectacle.